Knowledge is a fractal, just-percolating path between nihilism and totalitarianism

This is a tale of finding complexity and coming to terms with the world, partially. Better said, coming to terms with a little role of ours in the world, and how hard playing that role will inevitably be.

I recall my early times in Berlin when my motto was 'everything is a lie'. Even now from time to time I can't help that sentence slipping out my tongue. I was coming from a media delusion, a politics delusion, and I was confronting a University-scale scam and (once again) delusion; so I used to get drunk with friends, howl at the full moon -- which in Berlin is a bare tree laden with snow amid a desert parking lot, and repeat all over again 'this is a lie, my self is a lie, the rotting lungs of the city are a lie'. And I would doze off on a freezing concrete street until that yellow vodka would carry me home. I once lived on a 13th floor and I have memories of flying in through the window. I had abandoned myself to a hopeless nihilism.

The other extreme is being blindly sure of a truth impossible to grasp and is the essence of fascism, I have no doubt. How totalitarian this sentence was!

My little revelation was that neither position is true. It might seem small, but all of a sudden loads of dilemmas appear clear to me:

• (Wo)men is born neither evil nor good: it is a complex thing in between. 
• Evil (or good) in (wo)men is neither born nor fostered: it is a complex thing in between. 
• Media do neither lie nor tell the truth: it is a very complex thing in between. 
• There is definitively some truth and use in politics, as obvious as it is that all politicians lie. We must wring them out and out as a wet cloth to extract some of that use to the world. 
• Things are neither relative nor have they got an absolute existence of their own. Relativism is relative and difficult to size. Things exist just on a glimpse, always there and always about to vanish as if the world were quantum in nature. 

Summing up: things are complex, very complex!! And I largely recognize the defeat against this Nature in the younger, more frustrated drunkard playing chess with the shadows of the Berlin wall. A fawn hidden in the woods, its heart a nest for a dove flapping with fear. So easy to abandon ourselves to either nihilism or totalitarianism. But acknowledging that the world is complex paves a tiny, little way in front of us. The reality is complex and we must work hard to extract truth and knowledge, to make serve our work. Reality is not pointless, it is very difficult to grasp. 

Three nazi tales: II, The Facebook

As recently as two weeks ago I came across an article at a Spanish newspaper (in Spanish) written by a well known spanish polemist (this site is unluckily also in Spanish, though there is a non-working British flag in the upper left which should allow one to change the language); a regular one of the neoconservative, pan-nationalcatholic TV-channel intereconomía. The author was disappointed that no official tribute is payed to the blue division anymore.

The blue division consisted of spaniards which voluntarily enrolled to fight WW2 as part of the nazi army. This broadly makes them nazis from my point of view. Most of them came from franco's army, which broadly makes them fascists for me. I'd even say that there isn't any difference in here. More about the blue division can be found in the wikipedia, I was delaying the link on purpose to have you read my opinion first.

As members of the nazi army they fought the Russian campaign. Serving the nazi army. The polemist claims that they fought with real courage and honor, and that this makes a great score. He also remarks as merits of the blue division that they could once have raped a russian girl, but they didn't though they had a clear chance and big urge to do so.

franco's children. So far so good.

I read this article through one of my facebook contacts: a young boy once actively involved in the recent #spanishrevolution which demands more democracy among other stuff. He was in full agreement with the polemist. He argues that what really matters is that "they died for their ideals, whatever they were"; that they gave everything for nothing --quite a pity, I shall guess...--; and that all of this makes them "the last great heroes of this country" (this last in capitals, which I refuse to reproduce in here).

A cold opinion in the internet, sharp as the side view of the letters I write right now. Words of my generation. A reminder that time is cyclic, that we've already been in this planet for a while and history is exhausted, and that we have no other fate than playing it over and over again as the fractal piece of a rusty pianola.

Berlin, Warschauerstraße

The walk between Warschauerstraße and my room at a student's residence at Ostbahnhof was like playing a ramshackle piano on the dislocated tiled floor. That, whenever I walked the tiled floor. There was also this trip down the stairs from the high bridge at Warschauerstraße, where you could fuck around the dirt underneath, fuck up a lad or a chick who wouldn't complain about the sour smell; then walk the narrow vanishing path while any short of tick could get attached as it jumped out of the weeds which now and ever tried to erase the walkway; pass the tumbledown cottage, once --if ever-- a kind of train relay station; already near to the student's residence the huge Berghain disco stands, over and over again chosen the best one in the world, whoever decides it. The companion as good: any drunkard who got so far; a couple, an orgy shook the bushes, laughed the waxing waning moon which slipped roundly at either side; some children playing dirty vodka or rum sat on the curb of a road driving nowhere.

For a last time: back to the stairs descending from the high high bridge over the train rails, the bridge itself being Warschauerstraße. And the stairs hanging held by an armless night, with all the majesty of a suicide drop. And this was my preferred way back home.

For a last time, I say, cause they aren't there anymore. Now only a wailing of wind rocks the bridge, the soul. And my drunk steps, and this void. And I must walk back playing the quivering tiles, which soon won't quiver anymore. And as I pass by I see the old path changed into a neat BMX rink. The relay station is now being build into a railway museum or whatever. Yeah, the disco is still there. You can get ice cream inside. And whoever it chooses, s/he'll choose it again as the best one in the world. But people like me, the beaten downs, are not allowed in anymore. Instead, mama kids pretending to be whores but who wouldn't fuck --even suck a shit-- when sunk on the bitter night.

So this is what it means the fall of the Berlin wall. Capitalism as a busy beaver working back and fort, to and fro; fixing up whatever soviet disruption remains. Like a come of age of the whole city, mature enough that it doesn't need me anymore.

Democracy 2.0

There is a #SpanishRevolution going on!!! Of course, it is directly inspired in the icelandic movement, but I'd say that the closest inspiration are the arab ones. Key feature --which I didn't find so important in the icelandic case-- are web 2.0: facebook and twitter. They brought together a bunch of very different people just because they we are upset with our corrupted politicians and the system they support.

A main claim against this movement is that the politicians say we don't know what we want. We organized independently of any political party or syndicate. We discovered that we don't need any underlying structure to express our claims. The politician power fears this enlightenment. The easiest thing is to say we don't know what we want.

I do know exactly what I want: I want a public social network over which I can interact with another people discussing initiatives which will democratically rise or fall. A public social network over which I can configure my vote about the many different issues of importance to my country, in real time, without the corrupt sense of delegating my will each 4 years in a party working for international enterprises. A public social network which would allow me to link my vote to a determined party or think tank or person if I desired to do so because I consider that I am not an expert on a topic, or because I considered that the topic is not so important to me, or because I just don't want to review the color of my opinion each and every minute and I trust enough a certain party or think tank or person. But also, if the people on which I delegate plans some dirty move, I want a public social network to remove my endorsement at the moment I desired, on real time and not just each 4 years.

This I call it a real (or at least more real) democracy.

A foreseeable claim against this is that we are not prepared for such a thing, or that the thing couldn't be kept under control... Just wait until you hear that. Doesn't this remind you of a fellow Mubarak talking to the Egyptian folks? O a gay --yeah, this one is on purpose-- called Franco preparing Spain for over 40 years for the simulacrum of a democracy? Don't let them play any tricks on us when they are scared and try to spread their fear. We have the technology to implement it, now we only need the will.

So up to here my point. I do know exactly what I want: not only regarding the 'how', but also have some thoughs on the 'what later'. And better on: each girl and boy, and elder and middle aged and whoever you can find tonight camping on the Spanish's squares does know what they want. Maybe they don't want the same as me, but they do know what. And we shall speak out loud and frighten the night.

Meeting on Tuesday the 19, at 15:30 in front of the Spanish embassy. Further meetings for Friday and Saturday! Keep looking at the hashtags:

#SpanishRevolution
#acampadasol
#acampadaberlin
#nolesvotes
#notenemosmiedo
#yeswecamp

Speak out loud!!

I am not a clever guy (I even misspelled clever in this sentence, but the corrector helped me out), so I'm sure I don't have any brilliant solution for the world. I am, however, in this process of awareness of how much of the things in which my life relies, are lies: money, politics... But the fact that I don't have any actual solution shouldn't prevent that I act to say what I don't see right. I hope a smarter person will find out some solutions, maybe they are my acts which help this able one to become aware of the problems.

This is why, in the next elections I will wander the streets of wherever I'm at and write over each and every poster with politicians in it: "everything is a lie". A small action for a great purpose.

The price of the money...

...is a lie!!

Canteen of a public university in Germany, supposed to have lower prices for students:
1/2 chicken + fried chips + 20 cl coke: more than 6€, plus the chicken is row, the chips are cold, the coke is warm and any of the things tastes disgracefully (even the coke).

Turkish guy in the corner:
1/2 chicken + fried chips + 50 cl coke: less than 5€, plus coke is cold, chips have been done right now, chicken is completely cooked; everything tastes wonderful.

Further examples:

- I've lost my wallet so I need to cancel my card at the bank. This has a fee of 15€... I wonder what do I pay for. The girl at the bank presses a button: old card blocked + 15€ gone from my account. If I find my old card, it can be unblocked again without having to issue a new card. This means: I didn't pay the 15€ fee for issuing a new card, I payed them for the girl to press the "block" button. Same operation with a Spanish card is free, which makes me wonder how harder it is to press the computer "block card" key in a German computer than in a Spanish one.

- I've lost my wallet so I need a new student card. This has a fee of 16€... I wonder what do I pay for. By the way, the university is a public one and it's supposed to have popular prices. 16€ is cheap compared to... a new laptop, e.g. But it's a huge difference compared to the actual cost of issuing a student card. I wonder if the aims of the public university is to provide services to the people or to make money as any other private university does... Public universities just target a population sector which can't be targeted by private university. But the university itself seems to be a lie.

- I need to send a fax from Berlin to Spain. Doing some Google-Re-Search you can find the price for sending a fax can be as low as 10 cents a page. They charge me 1€/page in the place under my house, and an extra € because it's going to Spain. So random...

And so on and so forth...

Money is a lie. The price of money is a lie set almost by random. What more proofs are needed?? What's the supply and demand law justifying any of the prices above? It's just a stochastic game of a few obscene people.

My answer: boycott the money!!

Until when? (II)

Now with english subs:

Hasta cuando? (Until when?)

Sorry, it's only in Spanish... I guess in a few days we'll have a version with English subtitles.

For free

Nice to attend a University and perceive that your efforts are appreciated. Nice to have Profs who want you to make some work on advanced topics and possibly to have them published in whatever-it's-called-that-scientific-review. Then you don't care not paying attention to your lectures, you don't care not doing the exercises for other Profs because you're going to publish something!! Amazing!! You might be useful for the world eventually.

But of course you're doing it for free: no money if you've not title yet. And you must be thanked because you have the chance, a great chance. The Prof will dispose of you as s/he wish and put and take away the work on/from you whenever s/he wants. You'll make a properly research work... indeed, the work the Prof was to make. Her/his name'll be of course the first and you may be happy if you are 3th or 4th...

Luckily, my tutor in my home university is not like that; but here, in Granada, many masters think they own the world...

The Worst of the Nightmares...

...picture yourself you wake up a Monday morning and you find yourself in a country leaded by a pro-fascist party.

Picture yourself you was living in a country with a party which modernized the infrastructures and gave money for research and for the people to learn languages. You was living in a country where actions against the financial crisis had been energetically impulsed, abetting the investments in the regional economy and ensuring the workers in case of unemployment.

Picture yourself you study abroad with scholarships given by your government and wish to revert your work in your country. Picture yourself the huge amount of people studying abroad had the impression that your country was improving up.

Picture yourself the crowd you left behind in there, who have right to vote and so they do, doesn't want any improvement, nor security against the crisis, nor scholarships for their daughters and sons... picture yourself you go to sleep thousands of kilometers far away from your home and when you wake up you are in the worst of the nightmares...

Exams

The exams are coming :S The exams are coming :S The exams are coming :S The exams are coming :S The exams are coming :S The exams are coming :S The exams are coming :S

So wish me good luck :D!

Myself is boiling, I'm wasting myself.

I'm wasting my self. My brain is boiling of things it wants to say, but it doesn't know how to say them. It doesn't know the words nor the names it grasps the concepts and wanna read wanna read wanna know doesn't know.
My head is boiling I don't sleep, I don't stay. I'm wasting my self, my time, my youth; trapped in a society with every thing everything but

I have everything and I don't know how to name the things. I know how to name the things but I forget to make them.

I had the words naming my thoughts tonight, exactly naming my thoughts and I ran to write them down and I onned the computer and the words were fading away and they did so and I hadn't even written the PIN of my web coneXion! I'm wasting my self and my brain's boiling again. And then I was just able to write this piece of bull shit!!!!!!!!!!!

In Spanish please: an University in the XXI century.

I'm filling in several forms and recollecting many recommendation letters as part of a application process to a Master Graduate Training in the USA. Of course, it means all the documents I submit must be in English.
I'm proud of my transcripts from Heidelberg, with German and English text. I also need my current transcript of marks from Santiago de Compostela (my home University). Few days ago I noticed I may solicit such a transcript through Internet. Nice. Today morning I pretended to do so, then two problems raised:
--> It's only avialable at Galician or Spanish.
--> It's only available for Caixa Galicia customers.

No comments! That's a XXI century university.